Do you say yes when you really mean no? Setting boundaries and saying no can be really challenging, right? Maybe you feel guilty when you say no to extra tasks at work, or when friends ask for help?

Many people feel anxious about how others will react. You might feel like you have to say yes to avoid disappointing someone, or because you think it’s expected of you. This is something we can all relate to.

You can practice saying no more often

Saying no isn’t just about turning something down; it’s an important part of taking care of yourself and your needs. Compromising your own well-being to show up for others, when you don’t have the time or energy, doesn’t feel good.

You can practice giving your own needs as much attention as you would for others. When you set boundaries, you allow yourself time to prioritize what matters to you.

It’s not selfish to make time for yourself; it’s absolutely necessary in a busy world. It reduces stress and helps prevent negative thoughts from building up. It’s about self-respect and taking yourself seriously.

When you prioritize your own needs, you open up the possibility to live more meaningfully and do more of what brings you energy and joy. You give yourself the chance to be more present for yourself, and for the people and things that matter to you.

Start Small

If you find it hard to say no, start with small steps. Try saying no to smaller requests that aren’t important to you. Practicing in safe situations can build your confidence and make it easier to set boundaries.

For example, you could practice saying no to something that doesn’t feel right – say no to a salesperson or a friend.

Another strategy is to create buffers by saying you need to think about it or check your calendar before responding. You don’t need to explain why.

What often makes it difficult are the thoughts and feelings that come up after you’ve said no. It’s easy to feel guilty, regretful, and end up saying yes anyway.

Practice sitting with the discomfort. When the thoughts come up, ask yourself:

• Why am I reacting this way? Is it fear of what others think of me?
• What would I say if this happened to a friend? What advice would I give them?

The more you practice, the more you’ll learn that it’s okay to set boundaries. It’s mostly about your own guilt and thoughts. The more you practice, the easier it gets!

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